A white deer running down a cxurvey road with a barn on one side and a horse paddock on the other.

Norse Leave

Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods. A place on the edge of Trollheim deep within the mysterious NJ Pine Belt! Tales Chronicled by Christopher Jonathan Hulton...That's me! Today's tale, Angrboða asks, where the hell was Grams all of those years!

 

After reading our latest story, make sure to tell a friend, and check out our Trollheim books below!

"So where the hell were you!" Angrboða was not one for subtlety. "Last time I saw you, it was my fifth birthday; by the time I opened your gift, you were gone."

Angrboda confronting Grams from behind while Grams is shelling beans in the kitchen.

"Did you like it?"

"What; yes. I still wear your horn ribbons—but you took off for a very, very long time!"

"Gramps just ate another can of beans, and I saw Karl was about ready to pull his finger again—after a few millennia of him eating beans, I needed a break."

Gramps lifting his leg extending a finger, while holding a can of beans, while Karl is contemplating pulling his finger in room with expossed beams, hardwood floor, and fireplace.

"You left for 5,000 years."

"In Troll years, that is only a few months—"

"Not for a child growing up without a grandparent—2,500 years went by, that is half of my life before you even sent a postcard—wish you were here...

Angrboda with arms crossed looking to the side angry shifting into a solid reality version of herself.

"I kept expecting you to show up at my grammar school graduation—at least you will be at my high school graduation in a hundred years…will you?"

"Yes, I won't leave you again.Though in 250 years you might leave us when you're married or off to Europe for college."

"I'll never go too far. Spending time with the Natives, I learned to live year by year."

"I should learn from you."

"So where did you go?"

"I went to visit my friend Enki in Summer

Enki sitting on his throne with a cloud popping out one ear and a river pouring out the other that is running down into a drain on the floor.

—I got to meet Gilgamesh and watch the taming of Enkidu…"

Grams peeking through a bush.

"Oh, Grams…" Angrboða blushed.

"I didn't touch. Then I helped place the first capstone on the Great Pyramid.

Grams placing the capstone on a pyramid.

Then carried some stones from Spain to Stonehenge.

Grams carrying Stonehenge on a tray across to the Straits of Dover.

I helped Cyrus the Great write the Cyropaedia

"Who?"

"Well, he was Great…I shadowed Bjorn when he met Manni and tailed them throughout their journey through the Near East, Tibet, and Japan. I couldn't help but pretend to be other mythical creatures they met on the way. Khidr learned a thing or two from me."

Grams shapeshifted into a foxy lady in Japan with Manni and Bjorn in the distance by a village.

"Wasn't Khidr and Enki earlier incarnations of Manni?"

"Yes, and Oannes too. Before I met Gramps, I dated him during his milk fetish period in India—he knew how to play my tune with that long flute of his—"

She looked at us and then to the little clearing before the bridge that le"Gramps over shares too—I wish you guys wouldn't. You are sending me to seek therapy from Karl…You met Vishnu!"

"Among other things, he knew how to preserve ecstasy—"

"Grams!"

Grams holding an upset Angrboda's head from behind.

If you like this tale, hit the share button below or just even tell your friend the old fashion way, with your mouth. Come back next week for our next tale.

 

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We are releasing our second collection of Trollheim stories in print, named Trolling About. It will be available on this website at www.salemhousepress.com and Barnes & Noble. Pick up your copy today, pretty please with sugar on top...

 

Trolling About Cover with Gripping Beast deign with a Troll, a boar, and bear.

 

Make sure you pick up the first collection of tales too...

 

Cover of Trollheim: Book One with Karl stealing a chicken, Helgi leaning over roost, Bosco milling about in the distance, Gramps towering over the trees and the Nattrolls house with Hulton sitting in front with Bjorn walking by in Trollheim within th Nj Pine Barrens.

 

 

If you like the tales from Trollheim you will love Trolls: A Compendium!

by Christopher Jon Luke Dowgin and
Christopher Jonathan Hulton

Trolls cover.

Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book

Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
Buy now link...

 

Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?

Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.

Preview: Google Books

Books

Trolls cover.

Images from Trolls animation.

Paperback: $45.00

Hardcover: $65.00

PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00